Contrary to popular belief, tryptophan does not make you drowsy. Scotch, however, does make your uncle racist.
In Europe, they eat the leftover turkey first.
Like the noble buffalo, the turducken was hunted to near extinction in the 19th century. The turduckens we eat today are raised in captivity so as to not deplete the still fragile wild population.
Though difficult to master, some people have, in fact, learned how to talk turkey.
When breaking the wishbone, be sure to choose your wish carefully. You don’t want to end up with a “Monkey’s Paw” situation.
Over the years, chefs have filled the cavity of the turkey with many things to enhance its flavor while cooking. So go ahead, get creative. Just remember: Jesus can see you.
In Soviet Russia, turkey stuffs you!
While no one wants to be a called a jive turkey, the Turkey Jive was a popular dance in the 1940s.
In rural West Virginia, the snood (the fleshy mass that hangs below a turkey’s beak) is prized for its delicious flavor as well as its mystical powers. When ingested, it grants one the ability to telepathically command all flightless birds.
Frozen turkey at 8 a.m. is still frozen turkey at 3 p.m. You gotta thaw that shit.